my drug dealer cracks me up
And they say romance is dead
ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?
Winner of two Academy Awards
Someone took a candid photo of a fight in Ukranian Parliament that is as well-composed as the best renaissance art
this is currently my favorite thing on the entire internet
新刊早く脱稿したいでござる⊂( ⊂ _ω_ )
having only 2 friends in class you have to pair up with and they choose eachother
What did the pirate say when he turned 80
GO TO HELL THAT WAS CLEVER
Imagine Person A waking up from a terrible nightmare, completely terrified and shaking. Person B assures them it was only a dream before pulling A into their arms, lulling them to sleep. Moments later, A’s alarm clock goes off, waking them up. That’s when A remembers: Person B died years ago.
Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written.
*remembers outer space*
I’M LAUGHIGN SO FUCKNGIG HARD A THTIS HOLYG SHIT LOOK AT T HTIS THIS IS AMAZI GNG IT’S THE CAPTIONS THAT GE T ME
SADDLE YOUR DADS WE MOVE OUT AT DAWN